What’s the Difference? “Normal” I say Bullsh!t

Posted: September 5, 2012 in Uncategorized

I am sick of people telling me how different he is, I have been thinking a lot about how my child is looked at differently from others. I have noticed when people describe something their child has done, they then look at me and say, “I don’t know if _____ does that, but mine does.” or “Well, your child is autistic so that’s most likely why he doesn’t do this yet.” and a few others that go along those lines. I don’t think people really realize what they are saying and that it is actually a little rude and hurts my feelings when they say it. Yes, my son IS autistic. Yes, he doesn’t do a lot things yet like talk and he’s not potty trained. I understand he is not like your child, but he is still a child. He’s still smart, if not smarter than your kid. So what is the difference? What is the difference between you kid and mine?

I understand my son is on the spectrum, but that spectrum is very wide. He was diagnosed with classic autism and no he doesn’t talk (yet) but he is still an amazing little boy. It just bothers me how my child is looked down on because of his autism. I don’t see a difference and I don’t know a difference between him or any other child. Maybe I am overreacting…maybe when they say these things they think I am suppose to just handle it as if it is no big deal. He is like any other child, just like I am like any other mom. I have the right to complain like any other mom, I have the right to be proud like any other mom, but it seems like some people (including moms) want to take away that right. Not necessarily on purpose, but they do. So what is the difference?

Let me tell you the difference in my son and me being a mom. I stay up when it is a full moon, I learn to deal with him not talking, I deal with the meltdowns, I deal with the crying, the days he goes without eating because he just won’t, I struggle..we struggle every single day. An easy day to us is when our Monsters don’t have a meltdown at the grocery store. A good day to us is when our Monsters eat 2 meals a day without having to trick them into it. So the difference is..well I work harder than anyone I know at being a mom. I go through the exact same things as you, but imagine doing it with a child that can go into meltdown mode at any moment of the day, just because Mr. Potato Head fell on the floor. Yeah..I deal with a lot, but so does my son. So, if someone would like to share how “different” my child is…then please do, I know he is. So please do not say that their is a different “normal” to me because he is on the spectrum. Well I say shove it up your ass. What is “normal” now anyways?
“Normal” I say Bullsh!t

  1. Rebecca says:

    I’m not sure what bothers me more: when people say these things, or when they don’t… People make a lot of excuses for my son. Several people have said to me over the last couple of months “you know he’s going to be fine, right?” No, sadly, I do NOT. I know that people like him, and that sure can help a lot in life, but I don’t know if he’ll be “ok” at all, whatever that means… I don’t know that he will talk because he stubbornly refuses to even work on it. I don’t know that he will learn because when people try to show him things that anyone would look at (like a convertible top going up and down) he stares blindly past it. I can’t invision how we will get from here to “ok.”

    • I have heard that too. “He will be okay, don’t stress so much.” And it bothers me also. I don’t know if he will ever be this “okay” that you speak of. I continue to work and push him..but you never know what the future holds. I get tired of the “he will be fine comments too” I get tired of the comments that point out how different and not “normal” he is. I think people need to shut up and let us be, they have no idea so they shouldn’t even try to understand. Thanks for Reading!

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