I can honestly say that I am a little selfish and rude when it comes to this. The Monster has some sort of meltdown or some sort of tantrum every time we are out somewhere. I don’t think their has ever been a day within the past year or so that he hasn’t had one. We seem to go out a decent amount. Whether it would be Mike and I with the Monster or My family and I with him.
I have noticed he doesn’t like certain stores in the mall and I refuse to let that stop me from going in them. I just shop for what I need or want and if he has a meltdown, then he has a meltdown. I have learned not to let it stop me from going into places mostly because I can’t press pause on my life. I am sure certain things bother him when he has one of these meltdowns, but I refuse to be afraid of what MIGHT happen.
The Monster also almost always has a meltdown when we are at a restaurant. He now refuses to sit in a high chair so he pretty much stands in the booth and eats his food the whole time. When he is done, he is done. But if I am not done, I refuse to pack up my meal just because he decides he is ready. Does he sometimes get loud? Yeah. Does he sometimes throw a fit? Yeah. And I know he can only take so much, but I have learned to not let it bother me. Is it rude of me to not take him outta there, take him into the restroom or out to the car? Yeah. I think it is rude of me not to do that, I am sure people around us get annoyed if he is not happy and expresses how unhappy he is about the situation. I can’t really just pack him up and take him into the restroom to have a minute to calm down, he is scared of public restrooms and usually freaks when he is in one. And because of his autism he doesn’t know/understand the dangers that are around him. I can’t just take him outside in front of the building because of cars going in and out. At any given time he can get away from me.
I refuse to stop living and going out because of this. It will just make things worse in the long run not just for him, but for me. I feel that if you want the quiet, peaceful meal, then sit at home. Teaching our son how to behave outside of the house is important, so taking him out as much as possible is our way of doing so.
Like I said I know this is selfish of me and very rude of me as a responsible parent, but I don’t care. I don’t care who it bothers if my son decides to cry a little. I can’t stay inside forever, we can’t stay inside forever. The world needs to learn to adjust to him. My son is two and his is still learning to adjust to the world around him.
Call me selfish, call me rude, say whatever you feel is right. But living and staying inside a box because some people don’t want to be accepting is not my problem. We are having to adjust to a different life. My son is having to adjust to a different environment. The smell, the lights, the noise, he is learning to live with it. So a little noise at the store or a restaurant isn’t going to kill anyone. I am sure some might feel that a responsible parent shouldn’t feel like this, especially when it effects other people. Nobody wants their kid to be a bother to anyone else, but nobody wants their kid to be trapped either. And that is what I refuse to do, is make him feel trapped.